Rhinestone Ted’s Word Emporium

Devour me Let me melt in you with joy Squeeze me like a rubber toy Trap me in my reverie Devour me Let me feel forever young As you slyly twist your tongue Spoil my sensitivity Devour me Suck me in and spit me out Lick and lightly bite about Leave me drenched and set me free Devour me As I subdue your duress With a fingerlight caress Down inside your satin dress Devour me As your lips encroach my dome Crown me King of fucking Rome Stain me red with your Lancôme Devour me As you kneel and start your scheme As our bodies burn with steam As you do me in my dream 8 May 2020, -@rhinestone_ted-

See him strolling down the street Leather helmet on his head Watch out for the speed he's at Else he might just end up dead Levi's jacket, skinny jeans Cafe racer engine screams Hands are straight and body leaning down against the wind Strike a pose, one so uncommon Dude looks like a diamond Lightning bolt's a riding fast Coming fast and coming in Never one to come up last Always going for the win Narrow jaw and chiseled feature Retrofuturistic stature Angled at the ass and knee at forty-five degree Look out for a speeding demon He looks like a diamond Reckless ridin' in a mornin' Learnt his lesson fast and mean Why that chicken crossed the road He will never really know Swerved in time, with squealing rubber Swerving straight into a gutter Blackened eye and bloody lips Hurt less than bruising pride But despite the wounds he'd taken Still looks like a diamond 14 January 2020. I could make a song out of this. -@rhinestone_ted-

I see no point in going on For everything goes dim ahead of me I have no will to carry on Redemption is just not a choice for me Is it because I’m lonely? And why am I so sad? Is my mind going crazy? How could this go so bad? I trapped myself for days on end Repeating every day inside a lie To run from things I should have done But swear to god I really don’t know why Is it because I’m crazy? Else, why am I so glad To yield and say that I’m just lazy? Why has it gone so bad? I see my life regressing back When all around me flourish, shine, and bloom I feel my head does badly lack Some things that could have saved me from my doom Is it some mind disorder? Is it really that bad? That I just can’t be bothered What have had gone so bad? I really want to sort myself But say, those leaves look like a horny mouse Maybe I’ll do it later Or tomorrow Or the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day after the day af...

I've seen the day I'm dreaming of displayed in full before me I've heard the silence of the world that used to rush around me The graying skies are blue once more, with cotton clouds above me But why am I not happy? I found my peace and solitude devoid of friends beside me It's pure delight with only slight a feeling being lonely I've had the time to reconnect with my own home and family But why am I not happy? The chance to do the things I love with no responsibility Quite possibly I'm free of all demands from my society I reveled in the plight of victims of their own stupidity But why am i not happy? I have it all: the shelter, suit, and sustenance to save me The shield against the summer heat from breezes from the AC A shot at fame and glory now that senpai has noticed me; Why am I still not happy? 25 May 2020 -@rhinestone_ted-

I’m going on a train To a land without rain To reach you out As I look up to the sky Start to wonder whether I Could make it now And I don’t know what to say To send you on your way So far far away And I don’t know how to say it Another way but baby I will miss you now So please tell me that you’ll be Living life so happily Though I know it’s not so easy It’s a very long journey Getting where you‘re gonna be I hope you’re ready It’s a very different place With a very different face And, will you miss me? And I don’t know what to say To send you on your way So far far away And I don’t know how to say it Another way but baby I will miss you now So wait a bit and hear me out I can not go to where you’re going to How I wish I could Hold your hand and stay to be close to you Will you miss me too? Pray that our heart will stay true, me and you So that someday I’ll be back to loving you July 2019, airport train -@rhinestone_ted-

Over the years since 2013 this blog has been the go-to place for me to express feelings and also states of mind I dared not to bring out to daylight for different reasons. As I evolve and transform through the years this site has operated under the banner of different names to reflect, again, my feelings, opinions, and states of mind during the relevant period. My journey to discover the true self and acceptance, combined with the desire (tendency) to never be static and to always be flowing on the go has led me to yet another perception of identity as this site is, as of today, operating under a brand new banner. Therefore I hereby announce that theredtension.blogspot.com is now named Rhinestone Ted’s Word Emporium, the most recent  nom de plume  we have came up with. Rhinestone Ted reflects* the sparkle of the factitious diamonds and also a nod to my own interest in installing rhinestones on the musical instruments and audio equipment, among others. To add to that, ...

As sharp as shards of glass the rain fell down onto my skin I felt the tiny droplets flying fast and flying thin. Like needles for an acupuncture piercing through my face I realized my journey home had just become a race. Like waterfalls the downpour flowed down through the flooded street I left my love and my beloved to somewhere sheltered safe. Like birds in cages I was stuck, the rain still incomplete Oh look, by God! The wind so strong the water formed a wave! Now guaranteed my love stays dry, my guitar with her, too, I contemplated waiting out the rain to finish soon. But waiting at this rate will lead me home at half past two Like David and Goliath were me and this big typhoon. But lo behold like soldiers marching to the front line nude My silly bum forgot the raincoat, clothes already soaked. As I attempt’d my home run, like a fiend the rain was brute Like a massive massacre and not an inch of fabric spared. I finally reached the gates of home and I was drain...

Enigmatic is a word too often used by people trying to sound edgy, so I’d Rather not use it to put image to myself; for I am not a mystery, but Neither are my intentions clear as a pristine sea. I’m Earnest—as the name implies—but filled with apathy, my Sincerity is insincere and my minds are full of triviality, and Thoughts that I myself fear deeply, (but know me a bit and you might just see the) Dad jokes as a testament to my self-claimed joviality, and the Impulsivity that is my undoing—oh, how I need a remedy, Or maybe you’ll find out how music fascinate me, or how nostalgic I can be, or how I sometimes despise my identity, or how the things that bemused you are the things that amuse me; but for Now I just want to end this piece of poetry... rather nicely. 8 February 2019; A class assignment. The first of its kind, -@theredtension-

After morning rain Sun shines peeking through the leaves My life stays at night Summer is among the sky Sweat is pouring from a burning skin Never felt this cold before Listen in the hall Gecko, gecko on the wall ! ! ! ! ! A class assignment. Oh how fun, -@theredtension-

Aku ingin mencintaimu Tanpa kau tahu Sampai nanti aku ungkapkan Kalau sampai waktu, di suatu hari Minggu. Aku ingin mencintaimu Secara sembunyi-sembunyi Agar aku tak perlu sembunyi Saat kita berdua sendiri. Made after the one posted before this. On the trip back home, 26 Sept. 2015. She was leaning on another dude. Sleeping. God how I wished it was me. -@neonstride-

Kau sendiri dalam keramaian dan ramai dalam kesendirian. Kau terjaga di tengah malam dan bermimpi di siang bolong. Tatapanmu kosong tapi matamu tajam menikam. Mereka merah, lelah menahan isak meredam amarah. Kepada siapa kau marah? Ke mana kau luapkan kesah? Kenapa semua kau simpan sendiri Dalam hati, hingga semua emosi jadi duri, yang menusukmu dari dalam hingga keluar dan menusuk orang-orang di sekitarmu? It relates to too many people I know. I guess this is why I still haven't hated it even after finishing this one from a long time. (This was written on a trip to Puncak in the middle of the night in Sept. 26, 2015. I still remember a friend that came out her room and asked me if I was crying because my eyes are all red and wet from the goddamn flu I had almost all the time.) -@theredtension-

Aduhai! aku Larut dalam rindu Menunggu Agar malam menelan senja nan ungu, sehingga Di saat malam tiba Aku bisa memimpikan dirimu, sayangnya Fajar menyingsing terlalu cepat Ilang, buyar semua angan yang sudah kuikat. Namamu Akan hanya kusimpan, tanpa pernah kuucapkan setelah "aku cinta". Glad I've moved on. (13 July 2017 on a hostel room in Vic, Catalunya, Spain. I still remember the room. And the roommates. And almost everything.) -@neonstride-