Rhinestone Ted’s Word Emporium

Aku ingin mencintaimu Tanpa kau tahu Sampai nanti aku ungkapkan Kalau sampai waktu, di suatu hari Minggu. Aku ingin mencintaimu Secara sembunyi-sembunyi Agar aku tak perlu sembunyi Saat kita berdua sendiri. Made after the one posted before this. On the trip back home, 26 Sept. 2015. She was leaning on another dude. Sleeping. God how I wished it was me. -@neonstride-

Kau sendiri dalam keramaian dan ramai dalam kesendirian. Kau terjaga di tengah malam dan bermimpi di siang bolong. Tatapanmu kosong tapi matamu tajam menikam. Mereka merah, lelah menahan isak meredam amarah. Kepada siapa kau marah? Ke mana kau luapkan kesah? Kenapa semua kau simpan sendiri Dalam hati, hingga semua emosi jadi duri, yang menusukmu dari dalam hingga keluar dan menusuk orang-orang di sekitarmu? It relates to too many people I know. I guess this is why I still haven't hated it even after finishing this one from a long time. (This was written on a trip to Puncak in the middle of the night in Sept. 26, 2015. I still remember a friend that came out her room and asked me if I was crying because my eyes are all red and wet from the goddamn flu I had almost all the time.) -@theredtension-

Aduhai! aku Larut dalam rindu Menunggu Agar malam menelan senja nan ungu, sehingga Di saat malam tiba Aku bisa memimpikan dirimu, sayangnya Fajar menyingsing terlalu cepat Ilang, buyar semua angan yang sudah kuikat. Namamu Akan hanya kusimpan, tanpa pernah kuucapkan setelah "aku cinta". Glad I've moved on. (13 July 2017 on a hostel room in Vic, Catalunya, Spain. I still remember the room. And the roommates. And almost everything.) -@neonstride-

Cakrawala Putih kelabu Mengadu biru Melebur menjadi satu Rancu. Bukit Gunung Penuh gerigi Menjulang tinggi Ditelan sinar mentari Mati. Dua insan Yang satu malu Satu tak tahu Berdua diam membisu Sayu. July 12 2017. She was right across me on that bus. I still remember how the trip went. -@neonstride-

Jujur saja aku khawatir Amit-amit kalau nanti Aku sudah susah-susah Melepas jangkarku Dan berlayar ke pantai seberang situ Tapi ketika tiba: Aku menemukan dirimu Menunggu kapal lain yang bukan kapalku;  atau Aku tidak menemukan dirimu Karena dari awal kau memang tidak pernah menunggu. Date unknown, -@neonstride-

How brief and cruel one's life and death can be Bereft of love, his heart and soul forlorn How bleak and dull his eyes can only see This lonely world where every morn a mourn His mistress dear had spread her wings and flown And she in him inflict the wounds of grief And left him rueful, pensive on his own "For with thee, love, eternal is too brief." This woeful man drew breath in one long sigh As fogs of death engulf his chest with plight This woeful, sinful, rueful man is I Whose shadows past forbade him from the light.        The love you've sown has died inside of me,        O, how brief and cruel my life and death can be! March 9, 2017. Finally found #1 -@neonstride-